Today

I'm so fragile today, I feel like I could break at any moment...Break, a psychotic break...My mind is racing over and over the past 7 weeks that have changed my life forever...I can't allow myself to break because once the force of the flow begins, I am down and out for months....I must move forward, pack away the hurt and function...I MUST re-gain my strength, and fast...I can grieve later...
After a very long talk with my beloved Dr. today and he mentioned that we'd had this talk many times, he asked me a point blank questions..."When am I going to begin living for me"...I had no answer...That is a foreign concept to me...I've got alot of thinking to do and must clear my mind and focus, for the first time in my life, on me...It sounds selfish even to my own ears, but it must be done...I'm 58 years old and have never had the guts to live MY dreams...The best and worse times of my life where raising my boys...They no longer need me...I need me, simple as that...I welcome your comments...thanks for being my friend...Love to all who read this...