David and I leave my house about 1:30pm...At that time I take another Xanax and my plan is to have a couple of shots at the airport...Ok, so check baggage...done, but I want David to take me back to the plane in a wheel chair...wayyyy too far to walk...But they won't give him a pass and so I'm on my own...so minutes wasted trying to get the pass...I still have to go through the scanner, take off my shoes, take my laptop out and place it in a seperate bin...Well this line runs a little too fast for me and I'm jamming up the end of the line trying to get my laptop back in my bag...I finally get it in but can't close the zipper all the way, so I take my shoes over to a bench and put them back on. This 40 minutes of standing and walking is already hurting my back...So I head to my gate, pulling along my very heavy (40lbs) carry on and my purse which is also stuffed to the gills...FUCK, I left my cane on the belt and
have to go back...Still there, WHEW! I retrace my steps back to where I was and I look up and the gate that I need is of course ALLLLLL the way down at the other end...What I see is gate 36 and where I need to go is gate 6...Fuck...
So I start to walk and every so often there is one of those belt mover thingies so I get on but still walk...I look up and it is 3:10...Shit! No time for shots! My plane leaves at 3:25 and you are supposed to board 20 minutes early...Fuck fuck...I am less than halfway there and my back is SCREAMING and I'm limping so badly that I'm walking like an ape...
All of a sudden this man appears from heaven with an empty wheel chair coming towards me...I ask him if he can get me to gate 6 and he takes me and my crap on board...He asks me what time my flight leaves and when I tell him he says, "oh shit" and starts running with me! Ok, so I just closed my eyes and go for the ride...He gets me there, I'm the last one to board but I am so grateful that I give him $10.00...
I have a middle seat and here I stand looking at an obviosly very disgusted man when I told him I'm in the middle...He gets up and I cram my carry on in on the floor and then cram myself in, my purse on my lap and wedged my cane in between him and I...It tips over and hits him in the leg, (I am secretly laughing my ass off) but I move it to the other side where a young girl is sleepinig...He mumbles something about "them" not letting me keep that bag there...I ignore him because all of my important shit is in there, laptop, meds, jewelry, camera, all charging cords, shoes...But sure as shit, here comes the stewardess and I swear he flagged her down and tells me she will have to move my bag up front...NOOOO, I don't WANT my carry on somewhere else, I want it with me...Well, she wins and as the crabass helps her pull it out she says, "JEEZE, what do you have in here?" and it falls over...on the laptop side...So she takes it up front and says she will let me know where it is...She never does...
Snacks came, no thank you...I have a chicken breast sandwich and an orange in my purse, squished but still very tasty...
We take off and I am ecstatic when the pilot announces that the flight is 3 hours and 45 minute and not the 4 hour 5 minutes that I was expected...Hey, 20 minutes is 20 minutes...My 2nd Xanax kicks in and I read. Time flies when I read and it seem like only an hour and we were there, nice smooth flight, no screaming babies...
The bitch that dropped my bag is standing up front when I exit and I tell her I need my bag...She gives me a dirty look and goes and gets it out of the overhead up front...thank God it is still there, anyone could have taken it before I got up there...She doesn't offer to hand it to me but sets it on the seat, so I step in and open it, telling her that I HOPE my laptop is not broke from HER dropping it...And United? You need to rephrase your "Fly the friendly skys of United" to "Fly at your own risk because our crews are rude!"
I had preordered a wheelchair at the other end and when I came off of the plane it was there with my name on it...
My back was really hurting from sitting in one position for so long...I hopped on and he took me to baggage claim...It was a LONG way...so glad I did the granny chair thing...
So then we wait for the baggage to come down the belt where the sign says to wait...maybe 20 minutes when they announce that it will be coming down the far shoot...Well, of course it will and I go limping down there...Another 15 minutes...But my ride is there, thank you Sandy...I LUFF you! and I am DYING for a smoke...I get to Teresas and tear into my carry on for my pain pills...I'm here! WOOOO HOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
Oh and by the way..miss stewardess...
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