The Flight

     As you all know, I'm scared shitless of flying...The morning of my flight I began to shake uncontrollably...I took a Xanax and although it helped some, it wasn't enough...
     David and I leave my house about 1:30pm...At that time I take another Xanax and my plan is to have a couple of shots at the airport...Ok, so check baggage...done, but I want David to take me back to the plane in a wheel chair...wayyyy too far to walk...But they won't give him a pass and so I'm on my own...so minutes wasted trying to get the pass...I still have to go through the scanner, take off my shoes, take my laptop out and place it in a seperate bin...Well this line runs a little too fast for me and I'm jamming up the end of the line trying to get my laptop back in my bag...I finally get it in but can't close the zipper all the way, so I take my shoes over to a bench and put them back on. This 40 minutes of standing and walking is already hurting my back...So I head to my gate, pulling along my very heavy (40lbs) carry on and my purse which is also stuffed to the gills...FUCK, I left my cane on the belt and
 have to go back...Still there, WHEW!  I retrace my steps back to where I was and I look up and the gate that I need is of course ALLLLLL the way down at the other end...What I see is gate 36 and where I need to go is gate 6...Fuck...
     So I start to walk and every so often there is one of those belt mover thingies so I get on but still walk...I look up and it is 3:10...Shit! No time for shots! My plane leaves at 3:25 and you are supposed to  board 20 minutes early...Fuck fuck...I am less than halfway there and my back is SCREAMING and I'm limping so badly that I'm walking like an ape...

     All of a sudden this man appears from heaven with an empty wheel chair coming towards me...I ask him if he can get me to gate 6 and he takes me and my crap on board...He asks me what time my flight leaves and when I tell him he says, "oh shit" and starts running with me! Ok, so I just closed my eyes and go for the ride...He gets me there, I'm the last one to board but I am so grateful that I give him $10.00...
     I have a middle seat and here I stand looking at an obviosly very disgusted man when I told him I'm in the middle...He gets up and I cram my carry on in on the floor and then cram myself in, my purse on my lap and wedged my cane in between him and I...It tips over and hits him in the leg, (I am secretly laughing my ass off) but I move it to the other side where a young girl is sleepinig...He mumbles something about "them" not letting me keep that bag there...I ignore him because all of my important shit is in there, laptop, meds, jewelry, camera, all charging cords, shoes...But sure as shit, here comes the stewardess and I swear he flagged her down and tells me she will have to move my bag up front...NOOOO, I don't WANT my carry on somewhere else, I want it with me...Well, she wins and as the crabass helps her pull it out she says, "JEEZE, what do you have in here?" and it falls over...on the laptop side...So she takes it up front and says she will let me know where it is...She never does...
Snacks came, no thank you...I have a chicken breast sandwich and an orange in my purse, squished but still very tasty...
     We take off and I am ecstatic when the pilot announces that the flight is 3 hours and 45 minute and not the 4 hour 5 minutes that I was expected...Hey, 20 minutes is 20 minutes...My 2nd Xanax kicks in and I read. Time flies when I read and it seem like only an hour and we were there, nice smooth flight, no screaming babies...
The bitch that dropped my bag is standing up front when I exit and I tell her I need my bag...She gives me a dirty look and goes and gets it out of the overhead up front...thank God it is still there, anyone could have taken it before I got up there...She doesn't offer to hand it to me but sets it on the seat, so I step in and open it, telling her that I HOPE my laptop is not broke from HER dropping it...And United? You need to rephrase your "Fly the friendly skys of United" to "Fly at your own risk because our crews are rude!"
     I had preordered a wheelchair at the other end and when I came off of the plane it was there with my name on  it...
My back was really hurting from sitting in one position for so long...I hopped on and he took me to baggage claim...It was a LONG way...so glad I did the granny chair thing...
So then we wait for the baggage to come down the belt where the sign says to wait...maybe 20 minutes when they announce that it will be coming down the far shoot...Well, of course it will and I go limping down there...Another 15 minutes...But my ride is there, thank you Sandy...I LUFF you! and I am DYING for a smoke...I get to Teresas and tear into my carry on for my pain pills...I'm here! WOOOO HOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
Oh and by the way..miss stewardess...

Oklahoma City 2011

I want to talk about Oklahoma City today...While Donna and I were traveling west we stopped at her sister Teresas house (my cousin) to shower, power nap and hit the road again...Donna asked me if I wanted to stop and see the OKC bombing site...Teresa had been a first responder being only 3 blocks away when it hit...I was hesitant about going to see it only because I wanted to be on the road to Patty but we decided that we would stop...We spent an hour there with Teresa walking us through the days events.

It was one of the most humbling experiences of my life...I will blog this with pictures and captions, taking you with me...



 
Each end of the block is blocked off by these monuments and the street is now filled with water...No access but on foot...

             Guarded 24/7 both on the ground and from the air...

There is a chair for every man woman and child that perished on that awful day...Big chairs for the adults and little chairs for the babies...Every chair has a name engraved in it and at night, the bottoms illuminate...

           This lonely man broke my heart as he sat on a loved ones chair, at times with his head in his hands...

                                                                 The Survivor Tree

                             The childrens playground, now forever closed...


 
 The teams wrote messages on the adjacent walls where they have remained for almost 16 years...

                    I like to call these the walls of love...So very touching

                                                      The rawness remains...

Heading West

      My cousin Donna and I had been throwing around the idea of heading out to Phoenix for a couple of weeks previous...Patty had come close to death and we wanted to see her. We tried every combination possible, she living in Indy and me in Mi we could drive, fly, train...Only one problem...We didn't have any money...We were both waiting for our taxes to come back. Being the early riser that she is, she called and woke me up one morning at 7am...(We had talked about us taking her car or her truck...car has lots of miles on it and I truly don't think my back will make a 4000 mile round trip in a truck.) We only have one vehicle here and hubby needs it for work...she calls and says "how about this: I'll rent a car, and we'll drive out...I say, how about this, let me get a cup of coffee in my hand and I'll call you back"...and so I did. 
     We talked about it and it sounded like a good plan. She could rent the car on a credit card and I could give her my half later..."When are we leaving?,"  I ask.  She says "let me check on the car and call you back"...A couple of hours later she calls and says, can someone drive you down to Dayton? She will rent the car from there, I will meet her and we will leave. How fast can I get there? Well, I'd had a pile of stuff ready to go all week but not packed, not knowing if or when I could go. I said I can be packed and ready in an hour and it takes 3 hours to get to Dayton...ok fine...call me when you're on your way she says. My hubby ran up to one of those quick loan places and borrowed $500.00 and Donna had $60.00 but like I said our taxes were to be deposited within a few days...We left Dayton on a Friday just before dark...We had to run back by the airport to the car rental so that they could see my drivers license and I could share in the driving...Then stopped in Indy (right off of the highway) and had dinner with her BF and her son and his girl... finally we are headed west, I'm already tired from the ride to Dayton so she starts out driving. We hit it off right away, (remember we don't even know each other) and chat about family, spouses, kids, the trip etc...She gets tired of driving so I take over...the route is pretty straight and simple and she gets her pillow and blankie and tilts back and goes to sleep...we are going to try and make it to Oklahoma City so we can sleep at her sisters house. We don't want to get a room because we don't want to spend the money...Just for gas, oh and lots of coffee to keep awake...
    Now, I've been through St Louis Missouri before, seen the arch, it's a beautiful city at night, yadda yadda, but had never DRIVEN through it. I get to the top of this hill and the roads fan out in half a dozen directions, 6 lanes of heavy traffic and several different routes...I am already in the right lane and couldn't get over if I tried so I just take that route...Nope, wrong route and it takes us 80 miles out of our way until she wakes up and we study our mapquest. She has a GPS but we haven't hooked it up yet, so we do that, stop and get a REAL map and she drives again for awhile...I fall asleep and after a few hours she is sleepy again too so we pull into a truck stop and drive up and down and up and down all theses isles of running sleeping big trucks. One of us makes the comment that the truckers probably weren't real fond of us driving around and flashing our lights in their windows...We don't want to park here but she finds an area in front of the building that is lit up and cars only, we tilt our seats back, turn off the car and crash...But I kept waking up. I had it in my head that I was going to wake up to some big trucker guy with his face in my window...After awhile it is getting cold in the car and although we have blankets it's not enough...My back and body fell like they're frozen in position...So we sit up again and drive...drive...drive...Dollar menus and coffee...(I swear I will never eat off of a dollar menu again!)  I can't tell you when, but sometime the next day we made it to her sisters house and crashed, but not for long...only a couple of hours and we were back on the road again...Time was of the essence in getting to Patty...
    So before we left her sisters house we do another mapquest to the next town that we will stop in, only we have decided that we will get a room this time so we can get a full nights sleep...My cousin Theresa, Donnas sister, a first responder in the OKC bombing, guides us to the bombing site and walks us through the tradgedy...we spend an hour or so there...A very sad and humbling place but I am glad that I've gone...It deserves it's own blog and I will get to that...We seperated from cousin Theresa there and Donna is driving and then later I took over while Donna slept...this stretch of road is a gazillion miles long, very dark, no gas stations, no rest areas, (not that we'd go to one anyway!), no exit ramps, not even anywhere to pull over...nothing...Just miles and miles and miles of nothingness...It is night again and all there are on this road is truckers...By now I have been driving for 6 hours and my back is killing me.  (I have degenrative disc disease and 2 herniated discs)...I'm getting severe shooting pains in my lower spine and am close to tears...FINALLY!  I can see the city lights in the far distance, I floor it...Amerillo Texas, that's where we're staying...I wake her up tell her we are in Amerillo and all I get is a weak "yay"...I pull in to a gas station and she sits up and says, No cuz, we aren't staying here, it is not safe. We still have 400 miles to go! WHAT THE FUCKING GOD DAMNED HELL KIND OF BULLSHIT IS THAT!  I practically fell out of the car, close to tears as my back was in excruciating pain...No, she says again, I said Albuquerque, like in New Mexico, not Amerillo...I was PISSED and she was PISSED, both of us growling but not wanting to have a full out fight...Our first Higgins spat, tiny but intense...so I walked around for a few, got my pillows assembled under and behind my back so I couldn't feel the road vibration, popped 2 vicodin and went to sleep...and so again, we arrive at our new destination in the dark...
     We find Albuquerque but the GPS has us going through sub-divisions and around in cirles...We can SEE the city lights below,  but we don't know how to get to it...After awhile I'm ready to throw that stupid ass GPS out the window...this entire trip, whenever we get off the highway to potty and grab some coffee, it says in a WAY too sexy voice, make a u turn, turn left, turn right..."SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU STUPID BITCH",  I scream at the GPS, and again we both begin to laugh, hysterically...Drive and drive and finally find a room... there is only one room left and it is on the smoking floor...Donna is not a happy camper as smoke really does bother her...I feel bad for her but I am elated!  I didn't over do it out of respect for her but it was nice to wake up and have a smoke with my coffee...We haul ALL of our shit in just in case the car gets stollen, she had showered at her sister and I badly needed one...It is after midnight and she says about me taking a shower, "what about the people next door?" I said "FUCK the people next door, I'm showering!" She just chuckles and shakes her head at me...By the time I get done she is sleeping, fully clothed...I relax and smoke another wonderful cigarette and crash. By now it is after 2am...
    Early Donna is up, dressed and ready to hit the road as I stumble around trying to wake up...We see hot air balloons going up in the distance...cool, we take some pics and she asks me if I'd like to check out the town. I'm feeling guilty about taking the extra time that we should be on the road but we decide to go into town and look around...I'm glad we did...what a great little shopping town, (yet another blog coming up!) great pics, friendly people for the most part, and we strolled around for about an hour...It felt good to be up and walking...
    When we were getting ready to leave we could see these mountains off in the distance and I, of course, wanted pictures because we had completely driven through the Ozarks in the dark, but somehow we ended up in an industrial section...we see a man standing at the back of his pickup truck...there is a couple of items in it and a yard sale sign...We laughed our asses off but didn't get a pic...We are going up and down all of these roads trying to get a closer shot of the mountain range without the buildings and fences in the pic...all of a sudden we are cruising down this street and all lanes of traffic are coming in our direction! Facing us! We are driving the wrong way! She shoots into a driveway barely before a head on collision, horns honking, headlights flashing at us..(quick thinking Donna!) and we start to laugh and laugh and laugh...Why is this funny? Because we are over tired and it just is...As we sit there a trucker is parked across the street and he wanders over towards the building he is headed to, shaking his head and laughing at us too...He said, "don't worry, you're not the first ones to do that." It seems that we can find our way around better in the dark than in the daytime...We finally get our bearings and continue west. We drive and drive and drive and I fall asleep...the next time I wake up it is dark and we are parked in a Holiday Inn parking lot and Donna is sleeping behind the wheel, so we crash for a couple of more hours and get back on the road...We arrive in Phoenix... at night... in the dark...
    I have to say that one of the best things about driving into the dark is the sunsets...I will post some here but will have a whole slew in my FB pics...The west has some of the most beautiful sunsets I've ever seen...
    Donna, if you can add anything that I've forgotten or perhaps some of these things are out of sequence, please do so...My jumbled brain may have forgotten some things...I enjoyed traveling with you immensly...The worst for me was the non smoking car...that sucked, mostly when trying to stay awake behind the wheel...
    Now remember folks, this was just the trip out, I still have the trip back, the time spent in Phoenix, OKC, Albuquerque and much else to tell you about...It was a trip of a lifetime and I shall never forget it...
    
    
    
   

This place was in the middle of no where...

They sold 2 kinds of cigarettes, Marlboro Red and Marlboro Gold...lol

WHOOO HOOOO...We made it!!!

    

My Night With Patty

   When Teresa and I returned to Pattys house after our romp around town I expected her to be resting...she'd just gotten out of the hospital, was weak, tired and sore from all of her medical boo boos...But nooooo, I walk into her room and her entire bed is covered in medical supplies and several of those little pink plastic wash bins that they give you in the hospital and she is walking around and organizing her stuff...Bandages in one, tapes in one, meds, etc...About 6 or 8 in all...I offered to help but she wouldn't have it. "No thank you, I got it," she says...when she gets done with that she proceeds to show me all of the things I've ever given her...Just a few, but she had them all there in her room...she has many pretty things in her room...When she posted to "PLEASE don't send "stuff", I was a little bummed as I like to send my loved ones little things from time to time, but now I can see why...Her room is stuffed with "stuff"...All beautiful and meaningful to her but she just has no more room to put anything...
    I took my shower and left her to her organizing...It was quiet in the house now, everyone had left but her, our mom, and I...We finally lay down and talk...girl talk, sister talk and then she gets back up...I don't question what she's doing, she leaves the room and comes back, lays back down and gets back up...again I don't question her. I'm laying there wondering why she is gone so long and suddenly CRASH! OMG she's fallen! (she had fallen earlier in the day)...I fly out of bed and she is standing in the kitchen with a broom in her hand...She was filling her water bottle with ice and half the bag had crashed to the floor...this time I didn't ask, I told her no no no, you are NOT cleaning this up, taking the broom from her...I called it our "Arizona Ice storm."  Mom had slept so soundly that she never even heard it. Maybe because she knew someone had Pattys back for the night.
    Patty is extremely independant. She moniters her own meds, takes care of her own treatments, nebulizer, bandage changes, etc and writes it all down with the times of day...It is a full time job for her but she wouldn't have it any other way...check out her blog at ..............
http://pateeta-shadesofblue.blogspot.com
    We finally lay down and fall asleep holding hands...I'm not sure if she got back up again or not as once I crashed, I crashed! I know she fears sleep and not waking up and she is weak as her thrush (is like a severe sunburn in the mouth and tongue caused mostly by meds) forbids her from eating more than a couple of bites of food at a meal. But she has a wonderful Hospice team and is going to ask her nurse about nutrition. Although she is very drugged throughout the day she manages to keep on top of things...She still has a child at home, well I should say young man and continues to mother him like she isn't even ill...The woman is plainly AMAZING and she is MY baby sister! Patty-Cake, I wanna be just like you when I grow up!
    The following morning I am leaving for home. We get up and have coffee and visit, loving, holding hands, sad that I have to go...My phone rings and it is Teresa..."Don't you DARE leave before I get there!" Of course I will wait for you Sissi...In the meantime Donna arrives to pick me up, she had stayed at Uncle Pats...We all hang out visiting for the last time...Me, loving on my sis and holding hands with my new found mom...Teresa gets there and it is a total lovefest...all of us girls, Patty, Donna, Teresa and mom and then Teresa pulls a ring out of no where, she kisses it, Patty kisses it and she places it on my finger..."It is a sister ring and we all wear one." I am FLOORED and happy and sad that I have to leave, all at once...I belong! We are family and they have welcomed me with open arms...Life has never been so good...
    The ring is called a Claddagh and it has a heart being held by 2 hands and topped with a crown...Teresa explains that as long as the point of the heart is facing my heart we are all joined...Here is my research on it...
    The Claddagh ring (Irish: fáinne Chladaigh) is a traditional Irish ring given as a token of love.
    The design and customs associated with it originated in the Irish fishing village of Claddagh, located just outside the city of Galway. The ring was first produced in the 17th century during the reign of Queen Mary II, though elements of the design date to the late Roman period.
    The Claddagh's distinctive design features two hands clasping a heart, and usually surmounted by a crown. The elements of this symbol are often said to correspond to the qualities of love (the heart), friendship (the hands), and loyalty (the crown). It lives on my left thumb and will never come off...I treasure my family and am still swooning from the love that has been given to me...I love you all...
    Good-byes have been said and Teresa and I are standing at the front door when a truck pulls up and a guy comes walking up to the house...Donna squeals and starts jumping up and down that it's Frank! OMG, the last sibling to meet! He is very busy in his work and I had given up on meeting him...
As he walks in the door we embrace each other and he takes a step back and says to Teresa, "now who is this?" They are all so used to the many visitors that Patty gets that he honestly doesn't know who I am.
Bless his heart, hug first, then ask questions...He finally makes his way to Pattys room where she has retreated...Going in to say the last good-bye Donna insisted on pictures...She took pics of the 4 of us, Teresa, Patty, Frank and I. (Rob and Sandy had already gone back to CA) When she was done I asked him if I could hug him again and of course, being a Higgins, I got a big ole bear hug...The circle is complete, we are one and they have lovingly pulled me in and embraced me...Wayyyyy overwhelming but still I keep it together (GOOD GIRL VIC!)
    Gotta run kids...Picture this and when I get the actual pic from Cuz, I will post it but here is Patty standing out front with everyone else as we leave...Do to swelling in her legs she has to wear those long white stockings that the hospital gives you...they are open at the toe but you are supposed to pull them over your toes...Not Patty! Nope, she creates her own style and has them pulled back, wearing flipflops and has purple polish on her toenails!  EPIC! I loved it...
    I hate it but the car has to be back and we barely have enough money to get home on...I am so proud of myself not only to be a part of this wonderful family but that I've kept my emotions in tact...
   We are backing out of the driveway and Donna yells out the window to them, "She's already crying..."  I'll be damned, I am...hadn't even noticed...But I manage to pull it together as Donna and I talk about our experience...
    (note: of course a full day AFTER we left my taxes had been deposited...If we hadn't been so darn tired we would have turned around and went back for another week...shit, damned IRS!)
   
    Teresa hanging onto the car so we can't leave...lol...and my precious ring...